Okay, I need to put this up. I'm freaking out big time right now. My beloved dog, Zeus, has arthritis. His hips are going out. He can barely walk. And we can't do anything. We don't have any money to take him to a vet or anything. It tears me apart to see him just limping around the house, barely moving, and just being able to see how much it's hurting him. This is seriously scary for me. I have no clue what to do. I find myself just praying inside that somehow, he leaves the world before the pain gets worse. He's so old... and he's been amazing for us. But we've had to come to accept his age for a while now... I just didn't think it'd be so hard. After all, I've been telling myself for so long now that it's gonna be his time soon... I thought I'd made myself ready.

He's so old compared to other Shar-peis. He's about nine-ten years old. His breed usually only lives for about eight. I'm so scared... I just hope that, with all that's going on right now and our inability to take him to a vert, to help him... I hope he goes out painlessly. I just don't know what to do. My brother yelled at me to stop freaking out in the kitchen, but I don't know how not to. I don't have any other pet or anyone else really to help make this any less painful. Zeus is my one and only. And he's dying right here and now, and I don;t know what to do, and I know I can't stop it.

I just talked to my brother, and he's trying to get me to calm down. He says if it is Zeus' last days, we should be happy with him while he's still with us. I agree, but... it's just really hard. I'm so scared about this... I just wish the vet wasn't so expensive...

I might drift off for a little bit. I hope not to leave anyone in the dark, but... this is just a hard time for me right now. I'm sorry. For those who have commissioned anything or something from me, I'll try and get that up, but... I don't know riht now.